HILL: The comedic Biden White House 

President Joe Biden listens as Japanese Prime Minister Fumio Kishida speaks during a meeting in the Oval Office of the White House, Friday, Jan. 13, 2023, in Washington. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

Capitol Hill staffers and campaign managers are busy people. Talking in short-hand by referring to one line in a crazy movie or comedy skit saves time and effort for all involved. Mental images convey far more content than words ever can in less than five seconds. 

The Biden administration is proving to be an on-going, daily treasure trove of incidents that can be compared to any number of sophomoric movies or cartoons. Unfortunately for the rest of the country, they seem to be the only ones who don’t get it yet. Which makes it even more humorous and yet, sad and poignant at the same time. 

Whenever the president tries to assure us as a nation that all is well with the border, inflation, gas prices and debt, the only thing that comes to mind is Kevin Bacon as Omega pledge “Chip Diller” in his ROTC uniform calmly saying “Remain Calm! All is Well!” at the end of “Animal House.”

He was thereupon trampled by a maddened crowd who knew “all was not well” in the fair town of Faber. 

“Inflation is coming down. … Food inflation is coming down…“(g)as prices are down $1.50 a gallon since their peak” Biden asserted in his State of the Union speech. He didn’t explain it was his policies that caused inflation and gas prices to skyrocket in the first place.  Ty Webb used the same delusional thinking while explaining life to his caddy, Danny Noonan in “Caddyshack”: “There’s a force in the universe that makes things happen, Danny. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball”. 

President Biden can’t “be the ball” and just make inflation disappear overnight just by saying so. He is not in touch with that force in the universe. 

White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre emphatically stated “President Biden is the best communicator we have in the White House!”  On cue on my mind’s digital recorder, I saw and heard Dean Wormer of Faber College intone in a deeply exasperated manner: “Mr. Biden. Two C’s, two D’s, and an F. That’s a 1.2 grade average. Congratulations. You’re at the top of the pledge class.”

VP Kamala Harris says Biden is “probably one of the boldest and strongest American presidents we have had”.  Sure, if he is being compared to fictional movie presidents such as Merkin Muffley, spectacularly played by Peter Sellers in “Dr. Strangelove.”  “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the War Room!” was only one of his memorable buffoonish lines. 

But not when Biden is compared to any real US presidents in our entire 243-year history. It is hard to think of a least-bold or strong president to be honest — if you know of one, please let us know. 

VP Harris declared, after Biden let a Chinese spy balloon surveil the entire country for a week, “Let’s be clear: first of all, as it relates to the Chinese balloon, we shot it down because it needed to be shot down”. Biden spokesman John Kirby followed up with: “I can tell you the president doesn’t regret the way we handled the first balloon.” 

Both could have told the truth about White House policy if they just had repeated what Otter said to his Delta brothers after being thrown off-campus: “I think that this situation absolutely required a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody’s part.”  

“And we were just the guys to do it!” every member of Biden’s sycophantic team could have said in unison. 

Setting aside the physical and mental health of President Biden for the moment, experienced businessmen and women who listen to any of Biden’s public policy pronouncements must shake their heads and think, if not say out loud, the same thing Principal Max Anderson said to Adam Sandler as “Billy Madison” after his closing argument in a debate: 

“Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.” 

Comedy reflects truth but does so under the umbrella of free speech which protects against slander and libel.  It would be so much better to have a president and administration which did not conjure up such humorous images. 

But we don’t. 2024 can’t get here soon enough.